Blue Fuku, White Collar
by The Drifter
Summary: One's a genius level hacker out on probation. The other is a up and coming police officer out for justice. Comedy ensues when Officer Aino partners with the overenthusiastic felon Mizuno Ami to tackle a blackmail case that no one seems want solved. What happens when the case takes an unexpected personal turn? A semi AU buddy cop story starring Ami and Minako. [COMPLETE]
1. Prologue

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _A.N. Good day dear readers. Today, I present a comedy - a semi AU buddy cop story about Ami, a convicted cyber criminal and Minako, the cop who's responsible for her._

 _Long story short, they crack jokes, investigate crime, and annoy the crap out of each other. Should be fun!_

 _Enjoy the story!_

 _Prologue: Wherein the author breaks the fourth wall to explain what's happening, and then we see just how much exposition I can cram into 1500 words._

* * *

 **List of major characters:**

 ** _Dr Mizuno Ami_**

The Loveable Rogue of our little buddy cop story today. 25 years old and possesses an IQ rumoured to be 300+. Ami also transforms into the pretty sailor suited senshi Sailor Mercury when the occasion arises.

Ami has, in the past, turned that genius level IQ to less than legal purposes. She is an accomplished hacker and as of one year ago, a convicted cyber criminal. Ami pled guilty to **-** _information redacted at request of Interpol_ **–** and was sentenced to an extraordinarily lenient 15 months of probation. She was then released into the personal custody of the superhero codenamed Sailor V.

Today, Ami is 10 months into serving her sentence under the watchful eye of friend and roommate-by-legal-necessity, Sailor V (aka Aino Minako). Much to the chagrin of her warden, Ami has come to regard the probation period as a sort of life-vacation. Not having any real responsibilities or goals is a new experience for the formerly driven and disciplined young prodigy. Privately, Ami might be having a somewhat difficult time of things, but she is really trying hard to take herself less seriously and have some fun where she can.

Professionally speaking, Ami is a licensed medical doctor, but she has been rendered pretty much unemployable due to her criminal record. Since the end of that career path, Ami has taken a random string of odd jobs that all went hilariously wrong for whatever reason – absolutely none of it her fault of course. She even considers it a point of pride that she's managed to get fired from 6 different jobs in as many months. To the relief of Minako, Ami has very recently found stable employment as a mechanic in a shop owned by a kindly widow.

Ami is currently bored as hell - besides the chronic un/underemployment, being legally barred from accessing the internet is driving her nuts. Consequently, her best entertainment these days is finding new and exciting ways to annoy Minako. It's either that, or binge watching action movies for hours on end. Both good. Both work to keep her mind off her troubles and keep her from dwelling on her long-time friend, crush, and complication - the princesse lontaine Kino Makoto.

All that however, is another story for another day...

* * *

 ** _Police Sergeant Aino Minako_**

The Straight Man of our comedy. 25 years old. Capable, energetic and street-smart...also known to a select few as Sailor V and/or Sailor Venus.

Minako is a charming, pragmatic and dedicated police officer who is a natural born leader. As a young and upcoming officer with Tokyo PD, she has recently been assigned to Section 4- Burglary/Kidnapping/Blackmail division of the Criminal Investigation Bureau.

Minako is the personal favourite of her boss, Police Superintendent Natsuna Sakurada, due to her secret identity as the previously mentioned superhero Sailor V. Because of this, she gets away with throwing the rulebook out the window occasionally. Which is perfect, since Minako doesn't really believe in rulebooks anyways. In fact, she takes pride in beating the expectation that proves the rule...or however that saying goes.

On a more personal note, Minako is the self proclaimed Goddess of Love and has even managed to find herself a girlfriend – one Hino Rei (who will unfortunately, not be appearing too much in this story due to plot constraints) Minako also has a strong sense of responsibility and a knowledge of pop culture rivaled only by her annyoing-ass roomate Mizuno Ami (seriously, that girl has had WAY too much time on her hands lately...)

Minako is currently feeling rather stressed out. The life of a police officer is never a quiet one. The newest case to come across Officer Aino's desk is proving to be somewhat more problematic than usual...

* * *

 ** _Dr Chiba Mamoru_**

The more or less damsel in distress for the purposes of our story today (Sorry Mamoru). 28 years old. Likes roses and giving motivational speeches while standing on tall objects. As Tuxedo Kamen, Mamoru is the Protector of Earth and the devoted one true love of Tsukino Usagi aka Sailor Moon aka she who regularly saves the world with the power of love.

Mamoru is a practicing family doctor with privileges at Juuban Medical University Hospital (JMUH). He has recently opened his own clinic near by. It has his name on the door and everything. As a doctor, he has also become the bromantic partner to our hero, Dr Mizuno Ami. From debating the specifics of anatomy, to translating ancient Babylonian texts, Mamoru's finally found someone he can geek out with. It's nice to have a friend to swap annotated medical science journals with sometimes...

Life is good for Mamoru, except that he is currently suspicious of certain activities by certain individuals at JMUH...we shall see what he thinks in a few chapters when we get there.

And now, on with the actual story.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Hi again everyone! First off. A special welcome and sincere apology to anyone following this story from Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux._  
 _While this story does technically follow 9 months-ish after ch 13 of "Walking Towards Light" this is not the sequel you were looking for. This is a silly little side-trip I wrote because I missed writing comedy, and because the premise of an Ami-Minako buddy cop story seemed so bizarre that I wanted to see what happened next._

 _In fact, to paraphrase immortal words of Monty Python_

 _"And now...for something completely different."_

 _Probably for the best if we all treat this as a standalone until further notice :p._

 _For everyone who is new to my own personal headcanon *waves* Hi! I hope you're all Ami fans, because I talk about her alot._

 _Cheers,_  
 _-Drifter_


	2. Open Investigation

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 2: Open Investigation - wherein Minako brings her work home, and Ami weasels her way on board_

* * *

 _Thursday night: apx 8pm._

"Exciting prime time television Minako-chan?"

Officer Aino Minako glowered at the interruption. Her roommate and legal responsibility Mizuno Ami was leaning on the doorway of the living room.

Dammit, she missed the scene she was looking for.

Mianko sighed and rewound the security footage she was looking at. The little figures on screen moved backwards, pulling a suited man out of a car and then yanking a black hood off his head.

"Ami-chan, you greasemonkey, you got motor oil in the bathtub again. I could have slipped and died."

"Sorry, I'll clean that up. You ok? You're not normally this worked up about stuff like that."

"Ugh, sorry, got a new case. It's a nightmare."

"That explains the security footage you are looking at...ooo! Are those jelly doughnuts?"

"No baka, it's onigri. I'm trying to eat dinner here."

Ami stole one off Minako's plate as she came closer to look at the screen.

"Hah! I knew that. Just messing with you. Doughnut...get it? Ahh nevermind. Whoa! Is that an actual kidnapping?"

Ami's eyes widened as she recognized the victim in the video.

"Oh my gosh! You got the Glico CEO kidnapping case! Big CEO, got kidnapped, but then escaped a few days later. Suspects still on the loose! I read about it in the papers. Its huge! Everyone is talking about it! Not to celebrate a terrible crime, but congratulations Officer. This might be a career maker for you."

Minako suppressed a grin at her friend's mercenary logic.

"Thanks Ami-chan...I'm just batting cleanup on this thing though. It's getting alot less resources now that the CEO is home safe. That sucks because we still have no idea who did it and why... Also, I'm not going to have the case much longer if I keep letting my convicted criminal roommate look at the evidence which should be classified..."

Ami went on, blithely ignoring the hint for her to go away. She spoke around a mouthful of stolen rice ball as something on screen caught her attention.

"mmmrph...didn't know that Glico-san had Parkinson's disease."

"Ewww. Ami-chan. Stop talking with your mouth full. What are you talking about? What Parkinson's? That's the first I've heard of it, and I've read his medical records."

Ami swallowed and pointed at the screen.

"Nope. Look right there. Rewind to the 3:32 mark. See the way he's walking when he comes into view? That little shuffle step? It's subtle, but it looks like it could be Parkinson's gait."

Ami took a quick peek at the time stamp.

"First thing in the morning like that, it's possible his medications haven't kicked in yet."

"Weird. His family never mentioned anything like that."

Ami shrugged.

"Everybody lies. I bet it would affect stock prices if word got out."

"I suppose that makes some sense Ami-chan. I'll follow up on that when I get the chance. Thanks for the lead. Now scram. Go take the coffee machine apart again or whatever. I swear you have too much free time. You need to get yourself a girlfriend or something."

Ami once again chose to have selective hearing about the rather excellent love advice that Minako was dispensing...and also selective hearing about the part where she should be _going away._

"Yeesh... Sorry about the onigiri...and the tub...and retroactively, the coffee machine. I was bored. New cases don't usually have you so grouchy. Is there something else going on? I'm asking as your friend this time."

Mianko flopped back on the couch dramatically. Ami might be annoying, but she really was a good friend and a great listener. Minako was happy to have someone to bitch to.

"Ugh. Without going into details, it's office politics. Section 9 is being useless. They think just because it's happening in the real world, it's not a cybercrime or something. Lazy assholes. I just need one script kiddie to help me break the case."

"Uhhh...Minako-chan. Obvious solution speaking here. At the risk of being self promoting, you LIVE with a genius level hacker. Can I help?"

"Don't tempt me Ami-chan. I don't even know how to start explaining how wrong that is."

Ami dropped to one knee next to the couch. Apparently, she wasn't above begging.

"Come on...just ask. Superintendent Sakurada loves you! She lets you get away with anything! Say you need me as a consultant. A consultant! That's something a fine upstanding member of society would be right? It'd be good for my re-integration into society or something. Pleeeease?"

"You're being awfully whiny for some reason...why are you so into this?"

"Because I'm boooooored. It's like everyone I know is busy with their _lives_ and _careers_. Mako's got her bakery, and Rei's got her temple Usagi's got her students, and you're all like 'I am the law!' these days. I mean, I get it, you're all busy. It's cool. Normally, I can hang out with Hotaru, but she's out of town with Haruka and Michiru again. Even Luna is busy nesting with Artemis since they moved in together. Being unemployed sucks."

"You're not unemployed. You have a job. You're a mechanic now."

Ami looked a bit sheepish at that.

"Oh right. Forgot about that. It's hard to keep track of my brilliant career these days. Doesn't matter though. My point still stands. I'm bored. It's not like I can take my work home with me like you do. Too much free time. Booored."

Minako rolled her eyes. Ami was complaining about _NOT_ being able to bring her work home? Minako felt a flash of irritation. This probation thing was way more difficult for her than it was for Ami and friggin Ami was the criminal here. This was supposed to be at least be a little punishing for her.

"Stop whining. At least you haven't been fired yet. You've lasted more than a month this time - unlike your previous 6 jobs. I would know. As your probation officer, I have to fill out A neat little mountain of paperwork every single time."

Of course Ami was going to ignore the suggestion that she stop whining.

"Minako-chaaaaaan...please? This total internet ban you have on me are worse than the ankle monitor, and you know how much I hate that. The damn thing itches 24/7. I swear, the blisters I got from it that week I was a bicycle courier was cruel and unusual punishment."

"Ugh, it was a nightmare tracking your ass all around the city too. Did you know that Interpol makes me keep a log of where you go everyday? Honestly, I'm glad you don't work there anymore. Your boss was a dick. I mean, who fires someone for stopping to help a pregnant lady going into labour?"

"He was just pissed that someone stole the package off my bike when I wasn't looking. He said it was my fault. Apparently, I was too focused on..."

Ami paused dramatically and adjusted her glasses.

"...The wrong delivery."

"Yeeeeaaaaah...no. Nice try Ami-chan. That's still not funny."

Ami shrugged again.

"Anyways...I'm thinking... I help you catch a few criminals, maybe we can knock a few restrictions off the list? At least let me get some porn or something...?"

This was dragging out a bit too long. Minako was getting tired of waiting for Ami to stop goofing off.

"Ami-chan...stop that. This isn't a laughing matter. You committed a crime, this is your punishment. It's not ethical to let you off the hook just because you're my friend. If you really want to help, then find a way to convince me properly."

That did it. The carefree attitude dropped away at the reminder of her mistakes. Ami sighed.

"Ok fine. I'm being serious now. I want to help. I mean it. I've learned my lesson. Let me do something good for society for once. I have the skills you need, so...let me use them properly this time."

Minako smiled. That's what she was looking for. One genuinely remorseful hacker. She knew Ami had her heart in the right place, but it was still her job as her warden to bring that to the surface now and again.

"That's better! I'll talk to Sakurada in the morning, see if we can work something out. No promises though."

"Thanks Minako. I really appreciate the chance. I'll make it worth your while. Trust me. I'm worth every bit of paperwork I put you through."

Ok, now Ami looked entirely too smug. Like she knew Minako would "give in" sooner or later. Minako couldn't resist knocking her friend down a peg or two.

"That's exactly what you said about that job I got you at the beach resort!"

"Hey! It's not my fault I got fired! I was preforming a valuable public service!"

"Ami-chan, they hired you to sell hot dogs, not diagnose everyone with skin cancer!"

"Public. Service. Gah. Aytpical moles everywhere...I just said to people that they _might_ have skin cancer – so they should go get checked out. Big difference. I never diagnosed anyone. Yeesh...you're all bad and moody tonight. Does that mean Rei is coming over to cheer you up soon?"

Ami somehow managed to look innocent and suggestive simultaneously. Minako threw a pillow at her.

"Screw you Mizuno. Knock that shit-eating grin off your face and go clean the bathtub. I'm going to need that in about a half hour."

Ami snapped a salute with a crisp Yessir! as she left to get the cleaning supplies.

Minako was torn between laughing out loud and throwing something more things at the retreating bluenette.

So annoying...so wonderfully annoying.

Minako felt a surge of pride. She always did want her friend to loosen up more.

They have known each other at least 10 years now - as friends as well as Sailor Senshi. Growing up, Ami was always so repressed – studied hard and stayed focused on the straight and narrow path to being a doctor.

No wonder Ami had turned to hacking and god knows what else to blow off some steam.

Then life and Interpol interfered and took being a doctor out of the equation. Free of that discipline and subsequently, her self-imposed repression, Ami strangely blossomed into the lovable jackass that she is today.

The jackass who was currently whistling a jaunty show tune while she scrubbed the bathroom

Minako was sure that would have been even more annoying if she actually recognized the song. At least this way, she could tune it out while she waited for her girlfriend to come over.

Rei...now there was a much healthier way to blow off steam. The damn tub better be clean before she got here.

Minako sighed. The whistling continued.

It was always the quiet ones...

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Alright, here we go :) The characters are in place, and soon, the plot!_

 _As my usual drifty self, I would like to provide some unnecessary trivia:_

 _The show tune that Ami is whistling (and that Minako doesn't recognize) is loosely titled "Springtime for Germany" from the 1968 Mel Brooks Comedy "The Producers". I leave it optional for you to google this and draw your own conclusions vis a vis why Ami has this particular song in mind with Minako._

 _Be forewarned, there is more of the same coming your way in Ch 2._

 _Thanks for reading! Reviews and PM always appreciated. I am not above explaining my own jokes._

 _Cheers,_

 _-Drifter._

 _P.S. The 1554th word of this story is "bluenette". I would like to dedicate that to the Yuri Fanfic Superhero Balambfish - author of Project Venus. Those of us with an interest in "smut with heart" should follow the trail of cherry blossoms thataway._


	3. I Need a Doctor

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 2: I Need a Doctor - wherein Minako puts her hacker to work and comes to the conclusion that she in fact, needs a doctor._

* * *

 _Friday afternoon: apx 1 pm – in Minako's living room_

There was some ungodly loud rap playing when Minako got home from work at 1 pm. From the sounds of it, Ami was studying again. Her roommate had the weirdest taste in music, a completely different genre for every mood. Based on her observations, rap tended to mean "studying"... that or "I just had my heart broken". Minako couldn't remember which – she should probably find out either way.

...Or at least turn the music down before the neighbours complained again. The genres might be random, but the common theme was that Ami liked her music loud enough to drown out the world.

"AMI-CHAN! OI! AMI!"

No answer. Minako could see Ami lying on the couch reading something. Too bad there was no way for Ami to hear her over the admittedly catchy hook.

Mianko walked across the room and flicked off the speakers. Ami jumped up like she'd been caught with a naughty magazine. Wait...it actually was a magazine.

Minako took a closer look. Nevermind. It was a medical journal.

"Studying again?"

Ami blushed hard.

"Wow...this is awkward...I just got the latest issue of _The British Medical Journal_. Normally, I'd be reading this online...but hey, dead trees. Just as good."

"You're embarrassed? I assumed it was porn at first. You disappoint me Ami-chan."

The blush deepened.

"Just because I'm out of the game, doesn't mean I can afford to get dull. You never know what might happen. This probation thing is only for another 9 months right? Maybe I can get a full pardon eventually... Oh! By the way, I made some sandwiches. They are in the fridge if you want one now. There's probably enough if you want to take a few for lunch tomorrow even."

Minako went with the abrupt change in topic. It wasn't her place to disturb Ami's wistful optimism. There were worse ways to deal with things.

Also, a sandwich did sound pretty good right around now. Minako went to the fridge and helped herself

"Thanks Ami, I'm starving. By the way, I've got good news for you. Talked to Sakurada today. She's on board. We just need you to come into the office, sign some paperwork, and then you're on the case. Kind of like a work-release program...except that we're not going to pay you...and we aren't going to release you afterwards either."

"So...exactly like a work-release program then?"

Minako tossed a sunny grin at Ami's deadpan snark.

"Yup! I just came by to pick you up actually. I saw your ankle monitor at home and figured you didn't have anything better to do. Did you get your ass fired again?"

That brought a sunny smile to Ami's face as well.

"Nope! Not this time! Ichinose-san let me go home early. Our only scissor lift is on the fritz. We're basically screwed until the repair parts for that get delivered on Monday...so, day off today, and probably all weekend too. Amazing how life works out! I'm free to consult as much as you need."

Ami jumped off the couch, clearly raring to go. Minako almost dropped her half eaten sandwich as her roommate started to drag her out the door.

"Come on! Come on! Finish your sandwich and lets go already! I can read the case file in the car right?"

* * *

To Ami's disappointment, there was no case file in the car.

In fact, there would be no case file until she had signed a bunch of paperwork and listened to a long lecture from the police commissioner. Something about this being a unique opportunity to give back to society and rehabilitation. Ami tuned most of it out. She'd heard most of it already inside her own head.

Finally, onto the exciting part of the day.

Ami followed Minako down to evidence storage. She watched as her new partner submitted a case number to the clerk and received a laptop in exchange.

Ami knew she was staring at the laptop the way Usagi looks at cake, but she didn't care. Nine months without internet was entirely too long. It was a long walk back to Minako's desk.

Time to get to work.

"Ok Ami-chan, here's the deal. I need to get into this secured laptop and look for evidence. You good for that?"

The hacker's eyes lit up.

"A secured laptop? Ooo. Give me 10 minutes alone with that bad girl. I'll have her singing in no time."

Ami stroked the top of the laptop tenderly then whipped out a USB drive from her back pocket. Minako gave her a funny look.

"What's that look for Minako? I always come prepared. Permission to insert?"

Ami didn't wait for Minako to say yes. She plunged the thumb drive into the laptop with a little too much enthusiasm. The black screen flashed with code when Ami booted the system.

Minako whistled with appreciation.

"You know it's creepy you talk like that about a laptop...but hey, whatever floats your boat. Maybe you should get out more? Go check out some buns at the bakery if-you-know-what-I-mean... "

Ami didn't look up from the screen. Her right hand flew across the keyboard as her left waved irritably at Minako's general direction.

"Hush...appreciate the artistry at work here..."

Minako took one look then looked back at Ami quizzically.

"You know Ami... I have to report everything you do. I think you'd better explain what's going on here."

"I just loaded in a little program I wrote a few jobs ago...remember that public health hazard of a pizza place? Yeah...I really didn't mean for them to get shut down like that, but eh, not my fault. Ack. Sorry. Back to the point...You can have the code if you want. I think I still have the original in a drawer somewhere. Long story short, it boots the computer from itself, then sifts through the system for any strings of data that might be a password. The program itself is basic but the real beauty is in the algorithms...you can't have those by the way. Those are mine. Nobody touches my algorithms."

Minako scribbled down some quick notes and then frowned.

"Ami-chan, trust me. No one wants to touch your algorithm...except possibly Mako? Forget I even asked. How about I just report that you found the password without elaborating on it yah?"

"What?! No! Keep listening, I was just getting to the good part! Anyways...as I was saying, with paranoid kooks like the average CEO, you can bet that the password is some phrase with some capital letters and numbers randomly inserted...maybe a punctuation mark or two. My program sifts through the computer's memory and looks for looks for that pattern first. Strings of dates and common names next. Occasionally, you get outliers to this generalization, but this little code has had a pretty good hit rate so far."

As if on cue, the program pinged up a password as promised. Ami laughed at results as she read it out loud.

"'Tr0ub4dor &3'...figures. People always capitalize the first letter only."

She typed in the phrase and then hit the 'enter' button. Access granted!

"And we're in! What's next boss?"

Minako gave a cheer and ruffled Ami's hair affectionately.

"Way to go Blue Streak! Damn nuggets at cybercrime told me it could take up to 3 months to crack this thing, and you did it in 3 minutes. Glad you're on my side! Now we look for anything suspicious. Try deleted files and emails. That's usually a good place to start."

Ami blushed at the praise and started a data recovery program as directed. She raised her eyebrow at the new nickname. It was kind of lame, but it felt nice to be included like this. Minako was pretty awesome.

Still...something seemed off, Ami felt like she was missing a piece of the puzzle. She looked back and forth between Minako and the laptop.

"Minako-chan, I got to ask. This doesn't add up. Why am I hacking into this laptop in the first place? It clearly belongs to the victim, and he's safe and sound now. He obviously didn't give you permission to go through his personal files...so I get why you thought he's hiding something. What I don't understand why you are still investigating?"

"We seized the laptop as evidence when Glico-san was first kidnapped...you know, to see if he was receiving any threats or had any enemies. I'ts strange, the man was kidnapped from his home at gun point. Then suddenly, three days later, he is mysteriously was able to escape on his own. He just turned up at a police station and told us to stop investigating his kidnapping. None of it makes any sense. I think he's still in danger, or at least still being threatened. On top of that, I am worried we have a mole on the police force...Cybercrime division seems to be actively trying to impede this investigation as well for some reason."

Yup. That confirmed it. Minako was awesome. All this effort to protect people who didn't seem to want her help anyways. Ami admired her more than ever.

"You're a better person than I am. I see what you mean. You're right to be suspicious. I told you I wanted to help. I meant that. Does Sakurada know about this?

"Yes. I have her go-ahead. This investigation is technically off the record for now. We had a feeling this case could go banana shaped quickly, and she trusts me to handle bananas my way. I really needed help, preferably someone not on the police force already. I needed an outsider with a very specific skillset that I could trust. You were pretty much the beginning, middle and end of that short list. "

"Pears Minako... It's pear shaped. You aren't the banana handling type remember?"

Minako stuck out her tongue.

"Spoilsport. We're having a moment here. Stop ruining it."

Ami hugged her friend in appreciation of everything she's done.

"We are. You're awesome. Thanks for trusting me. I appreciate that."

Minako hugged her back.

"Awww...I'm glad you're here. I figured it would be good for you too. At least gets you out of the house every so often. The neighbours are starting to complain about your music by the way. Ok moment over, now get back to work. Anything on the laptop?"

Ami pointed to something on the screen.

"Look here! You were totally right about the deleted files. Take a look at these."

Ami opened some documents she recovered from the laptop's memory.

"Look Minako! These are Glico-san's personal medical files. Looks like he is a patient at Juuban Medican University Hospial. There is another note attached here threatening to make this public unless 100 million yen is paid. The language and phrasing was nearly identical to the kidnap ransom demand for 1 billion yen I saw in the case file earlier."

Minako didn't seem particularly surprised by that discovery. She looked like she'd expected it all along.

"...of course! This started with a blackmail attempt...and ends with kidnapping. Dammit, this could escalate. No wonder Glico-san isn't being co-operative. There might be even more victims. How on earth does an old man like that escape from a bunch of kidnappers anyways? He hasn't been very forthcoming with details. We need to keep investigating. I wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes?"

Ami shrugged again.

"I suppose I could keep poking around, and see if I can track the digital signature of where these files came from...but judging by the look on your face, that's a terrible, no-good not at all admissible in court idea... we're going to go interview Glico-san now aren't we?"

Minako nodded.

"Yup. You got it. Mount up Hot Fuzz. I've got an interview to conduct, and I think I might just need a doctor..."

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Pointless Trivia: The "song that was never named" for this chapter: Eminem and Dr Dre: I need a Doctor._

 _Also apologies. I know nothing about computer security beyond the average user. Probably should havethought of that before starting a story about a hacker..._


	4. Secret

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 4 Secret - wherein Ami and Minako conduct their first interview together, with unexpected results._

 _Note: JMUH = Juuban Medical University Hospital. Our dynamic duo keep talking about the damn hospital, and I keep having to type it all out...so abbreviations ftw._

* * *

 _Friday afternoon 4 pm – outside a big fancy mansion_

Minako stood with her finger pressed to the doorbell.

 _Dingdong!_

 _Dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongding!_

Ami slapped her hand away.

"Minako, stop that, you'll break it."

"Oops, sorry, bad habit."

An irritated looking butler opened the door with a long suffering sigh.

"Welcome to the Glico residence. I am Uddohausu, the butler. Can I help you ladies?"

Minako flashed her badge.

"Good morning! I am Police Sergeant Aino Minako with Tokyo MPD, 4th division and this is my associate Mizuno Ami. We am here on an official investigation. Would Glico-san be available at the moment ? I am afraid we have some questions for him."

"Of course officer. Right this way."

The butler led them to an ornate set of doors somewhere in the depths of the mansion. He knocked gently upon arrival.

"Glico-sama? I have a Police Sergeant Aino Minako here to see you sir?"

The door opened a small crack and a thin voice answered from within.

"I would like to see a badge first please."

Minako held out her ID for inspection. It was all there in black and white and bronze. Police Sergeant Aino Minako - 49030 - Minato district. The person on the other side of the door seemed satisfied...at least in the sense that the door opened a crack further.

"My apologies ladies. One can never be too careful these days."

A frail middle aged looking man popped his head out.

"Officer Aino, may I ask your partner to identify herself as well please?"

Ami spoke for herself.

"Ummm...I'm sorry, I don't have a badge or anything. I am Dr Mizuno Ami. I am contracting my services to Tokyo PD for the time being.

The traumatized-looking CEO got even paler at Ami's introduction

"Dr Mizuno. May I ask where do you practice?"

Ami shuffled awkwardly. Minako could see that it was an uncomfortable question.

"Uhhh...No where at the moment. I do have friends at JMUH who could vouch for me if necessary?"

"I see. In that case, there is nothing I can do to help your investigation. I am afraid I must ask Uddohausu to escort you out."

Well, this was unexpected. Minako turned her legendary charm and persuasiveness to the man behind the door.

"Wait! I think we are past the point of secrets Glico-san. I understand your need for privacy, but these men kidnapped you. It is my duty as an officer of the law to investigate these matters and bring them to justice. Please, help me, help you."

For a moment, it looked as though the man would reconsider, but then he looked at Ami again and that seemed to stiffen his resolve.

"Officer, I hope you don't think less of me for this, but I am free now, no harm done. I consider this whole terrible affair to be over. If I could please ask you to leave my property, this interview is over. Uddohausu, again, please escort them out."

The door slammed shut. The butler gestured for the defeated crime solving duo to follow him back to the front door.

* * *

While Minako had seen all this crap before, Ami seemed somewhat of stunned by the total failure of the interview.

"Ha! I didn't realize his name actually _was_ Glico until the butler said it. Sorry Minako. I shouldn't have said that I was a doctor. That just slipped out."

Minako furrowed her brow in thought.

"No, it's ok. That's why I brought you actually. I wanted to see how he'd react. That was just a bit more extreme than I expected. For some reason, he's afraid of doctors...Ugh. Uncopoerative witnesses. I'm getting too old for this shit.

"Shhh...don't say that. Next you know, you'll be one day from retirement. That's like a curse or something."

Minako swatted her dumbass friend as she continued to think out loud.

"...It wasn't a total waste though. Did you notice his reaction when you mentioned that you had friends at JMUH? He was terrified. Nice name drop by the way. Our main objective was to follow up on those medical files we found on his computer, and we are kind of did learn more that thanks to you. I suspect that he thinks that the person blackmailing him works at that hospital then."

Ami rubbed the spot on her arm where Minako had just justifiably smacked her.

"Thanks. I was hoping for a reaction too. That makes sense actually. It's rather difficult to hack a hospital's server in all reality. It would be more likely for someone working on the inside to leak the medical files than for someone on the outside stealing them."

Minako grumbled at the implications.

"Wonderful! That just narrows our list of suspects to everyone that works at JMUH, and all based on circumstantial evidence. Any more blinding insights?"

Ami shot back a cheeky grin.

"Cheer up officer. That's more than you knew before I came along."

Minako thumped Ami on the shoulder, much harder this time.

"Not helping. That guy isn't helping either right now. Zero co-operation all around...I've never seen someone clam up so quickly. Good job Miss Congeniality. We got to work on your people skills."

"Hmmm..Maybe we should send him a card. Ooo! I know! I still have a few cases of those 'Danger Zone' Valentines day cards they forced me to buy back when I got fired from the greeting card company...they are kind of applicable right?"

That drew a snicker from the grouchy police officer. That incident was hilarious even by Minako's very high standards of hilarity. Totally worth the ass-ton of paperwork.

Ami sang the offending song lyrics she accidentally put onto convenience store shelves all across Japan

"...You'll never know what you can do / until you get it up as high as you can go"

"Please stop singing Ami-chan. I love you, but you're bloody awful."

"Ehhhh... it's not my fault some slacker colleague of mine wanted to steal my designs. All I did was doodle at work while watching homoerotic 80s movies. Got to respect the heritage of our people you know?"

"oi..."

"I was bored!"

"Ahem!"

The butler cleared his throat loudly. Ami and Minako jumped back abashed. They had completely forgotten that he was there.

"Oh! I'm sorry...We didn't mean to be rude..."

The butler looked like he was entirely too used to fading into the background. He gave yet another long suffering sigh.

"No apologies necessary Doctor. I completely understand."

Uddohausu took a quick glance up and down the hallway as he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper

"Off the record, my employer is able to identify his kidnappers, he is just too afraid to do so. There is Yakuza involvement."

Minako turned on the butler suspiciously. This sounded a little too helpful to be true... Maybe the butler did it!

"Why are you telling me this?"

"As much as I must follow my employer's demands, I would hate to see a sweet young couple like yourselves killed investigating this case blindly...besides Doctor Mizuno, I believe we share similar tastes in movies."

Sweet...young...couple? Minako and Ami looked at each other like they were seeing each other for the first time.

Ami was blushing so hard that it was a wonder she didn't burst into flames.

"Wait! What? I'm not...well, I am, but not -"

Minako tried hard not to laugh out loud. She could do something with this...If Ami was smart enough to play along.

Minako glomped on Ami's arm to stop her before she ruined the moment.

"Shut up honey! Let the nice man talk. Don't mind her Uddohausu-san. She's just shy. Is there perhaps anything else you'd like to share with us?"

Uddohausu gave them a warm smile, but he shook his head for no.

Damn. Ah well. At least she was going to get to tease the hell out of Ami for this later.

Now to keep their cover until they were out of the mansion... Minako was still trying to figure out her next move when she felt Ami _squeezing_ her hand and giving her the most loaded glare.

"Thank you Uddohausu-san. I appreciate the warning. I'd hate for anything to happen to my...umm...Minako here. She's always in the _line of fire_ as they say..."

Line of fire...oh crap. Ami better not tell Rei about this...

"Of course Dr. Mizuno. Anything for 'our people' as you said."

"So you enjoy old movies Uddohausu-san?"

The two apparent nerds ambled down the hall chatting about old movies and pop culture.

Minako hung back and gave herself a mental high five. She just couldn't believe her sheer dumb luck sometimes. For completely unexpected reasons, she and Ami just found another lead to follow: Yakuza.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Sheer dumb luck indeed. That or you know...plot device. The important thing here is :_

 _HIGHWAY TO THE DANGERZONE!_

 _Because Ami just HAS to slip those song lyrics into every situation she can. That jerk.  
For the record, the movie that Ami and Uddohausu discuss is Top Gun. Homoerotic 80's movie for the win._

 _Sidenote: Years and years and years ago. I read a fanfic that was basically about Ami/Amy being a US Navy pilot. Weird as heck concept, but I loved the characterization of Ami being a cocky jackass. It worked really well. The influence of that story comes through here some 16 or so years later. If anyone remembers the name of that story, please please please tell me._

 _Update: ! Thank you to guest reviewer "Good Reads" for finding that fic for me! "Into the Great Wide Open" by Jack Ryan. archived at p_piku. Niccccceeeee. Thank you GoodReads! Greatly appreciated._

 _-Drifter._


	5. Infiltration

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 5 Infiltration : wherein Ami is a hacker and the author respectfully asks for your suspension of disbelief. Plot wise, Ami gets another new job, but this time and this time, its serious._

* * *

 _Saturday, early morning/middle of the night: apx 2 am – inside Minako's aprtment_

Unforunately, the Yakuza lead really didn't pan out either. There were too many possible culprits in that line of work. Minako knew she shouldn't be taking work home this frequently, but this case as bothering her. She knew so much, but could prove nothing.

Minako was working on cross referencing known Yakuza members with the national database of medical professionals when Ami knocked at her door timidly.

"Minako...I've got some bad news."

Ami walked into the room. Minako saw that she was repeatedly squeezing a goofy little 'Health Comes First!' stress doll in her left hand...and holding the Mercury Computer in the right.

Minako noted to her chagrin that Ami had at some point, gone through her storage closet and stolen her stress doll. More importantly, Ami was acting all twitchy right now. This was definitely bad news.

Minako pursed her lips and braced for the worst.

"What's up? Is it Senshi business?"

"No. Maybe? I'm not sure yet. It might be related to your case actually. I found something online that we should look into."

Minako glared at her

"Why the hell were you online? That's a violation of your probation you know."

"I wasn't! At least not personally... The Mercury Computer was...I have a webcrawler that scans for anything about the Sailor Senshi. The program alerts me if Senshi are mentioned in reference to anything that might link us to our real identities...or just generally anything I think I need to know about about anything. I like to keep my eye on these things. Call it a precaution, or paranoia, or whatever. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"So the whole time you've been on probation, you've been able to access the internet...using your senshi powers?! DAMMIT! We've had this talk before. I don't know what I should be more pissed about, you violating your probation, or you using your Senshi equipment to monitor civilians."

"Look! I get it. That's a line you aren't willing to cross, but you know what? I couldn't just leave us unprotected though. Just last week I had to pull a denial of service on a crappy little volleyball message board. Some guy in Minato saw some old footage of Sailor V and said it reminded him of a girl he went to junior high with. Do you think I should just leave that hanging out there?"

"I don't know, but maybe you should have SAID SOMETHING to someone before making decisions on your own like that? Why do you think I'm pissed about this?"

"Can we deal with this later? We've got a situation."

Minako glared at Ami over the deflection, but waved at her to continue.

"Fine. What is it?"

Ami pointed at the little blue screen.

"Look here. This is a 'job board'. People come here to look for people with my specific illegal skill set if you know what I mean. I mean, 99.9% of it is peanuts and bullshit. 'Oh no! I need to get into my spouses' phone, they're sleeping with their boss' or 'I hate this guy, nuke his Starcraft account'...little things like that...but occasionally, more interesting stuff does come up...you know like Yakuza jobs..."

Ami scrolled down the message board quickly.

"Look. There's the post I'm worried about Minako. The Computer flagged it for my attention. 'Contractor needed for JMUH job. Access Server 2501'"

"Contractor?"

"You know, for 'odd jobs' - usually very illegal ones. I have JMUH flagged as a keyword because Mamoru-san works out of that hospital."

"Shit, think it's connected to our case?"

Ami shrugged.

"I couldn't tell you until we checked it out...but the timing is suspicious. I can find the server in about a minute, I just need your go-ahead to do so."

If Ami sounded a bit terse at needing official permission, Minako ignored it.

"Yeah. Just keep it quiet. Can you keep other people out of this um...'job post' for now? I don't want this getting out of control."

Ami focused on the computer screen for the minute she said she would need.

"Done."

"Ok, so what's the job for?"

"I don't know. We'll have to bid on it. I got just the guy for that."

Minako shook her head instantly

"Hell no. We are not bringing any more people into this. You're already questionable enough. I still have to build a case that would fly in court you know."

Ami backtracked with a wave of dismissal.

"No, no, I didn't mean someone else. I meant me. At the risk of being self-incriminating, I can get us into this game...Just don't ask... And don't tell either. This never happened. You really don't want the details right now."

Ami tapped a few keys on her computer.

 _Otzi connected to server 2501_

Minako's eyes widened at the name. She'd heard it before from the guys gossiping about it in Cyber-crime division. Otzi was _supposed_ to be some high profile German hacker who was never caught. There was an entire taskforce in Berlin looking for this guy.

This guy who was apparently a little Japanese woman.

Oh bloody hell. Of course it was Ami... Minako decided that she really really didn't want to know.

Ami continued on without looking up to see her warden's reaction. Apparently, she didn't want to know either.

"There. Otzi's in. Really. Again: please don't ask. Anyone good enough to still see this server ought to smart enough to back off...hmm...now to make things look legit to whoever's hosting. Let's get Albatroz in here too."

 _41batr0zz connected to server 2501_

Ami put down the stress doll she was still squeezing and offered her hand to Minako instead.

"Peace offering Minako-chan? Those two were my last alts. I'd been saving them for a rainy day. They're burned after this. You can call Berlin later and tell them that Otzi is done. I promise. No more hacking."

Minako sighed and shook Ami's hand in acceptance. The past was the past. Let bygones be bygones. So on and so forth. She was not getting paid nearly enough to deal with this.

"My condolences Dragnet, Just write me a full detailed anonymous confession of everything that Otzi's done, and we'll figure it out with your lawyer later. Now get back to work."

Minako watched as Ami set up a "bidding war" between her two proxies while simultaneously attempting to track the server's host. It actually was very impressive seeing the genius multitasking like this.

Ami let out a sudden excited whoop before having the sense to look abashed. Minako looked to her for an explanation.

"Got the gig. Albatrozz takes it with the lower bid. Looks like who ever is on the other end here wants a hacker to plant some documents onto some poor bastard's computer at Juuban Medical. Yeah, I'd say this is related to our case in all likelihood. Cheap asshole...only 5000$ to for a job like this? Terrible."

Ami continued reading her new assignment. Suddenly the blood rushed out of her face.

"Ami-chan, what's wrong?"

Ami started typing even more fiercely, all the while cursing under her breath.

"Dammit! Server cut out before I could pin down the other guys ID. This is much worse than I thought."

Minako thought the glow of the monitor screen made Ami's sudden pallor all the more alarming.

"What are you talking about?"

"The target of the hack is Dr. Chiba Mamoru."

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Not alot of jokes in this chapter, sometimes you just have to get the story moving along :(. I'll make it up for it in the next few chapters I hope._

 _FYI: the stress doll that Ami's stolen from Minako is in fact, one of the ugly little dolls that Minako won a TON of back in the original season 3 episode where Minako is targeted for her pure heart. I LOVE that episode and how the dolls just keep appearing right up to the end. Hilarious._

 _More FYIs: I don't actually know anything about computer security beyond the average person. I went to school for archaeology. That is evident in the handle that Ami chooses to use._  
 _Otzi is a supremely well preserved natural mummy of a man from apx 3300 BCE found in the alps in the early 90's. He is one of my favourite archaeological discoveries ever. He is well preserved to the point where scientists can determine what he ate for dinner the night before he presumably fell off a cliff 3300 years ago. Awesome!_  
 _Anyways...back to the story_

 _Otzi the iceman...iceman...Ami...get it? *laughs at own joke and drifts off into the horizon*_

 _If anyone is still reading this and wondering, Albatroz was selected because 1. I was listening to the song titled "I'm an Albatroz" by AronChupa/Nora Ekberg and 2. Ami has a certain affinity to the poem "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" in my headcanon (please refer to my other story "The Long Road to Mugen" for slightly more context).  
All full detailed explanation is probably WAY more character analysis than anyone ever needs to hear about for a fanfiction however._

 _By the way. Thank you for reading this story! PM/Reviews always appreciated._

 _cheers,_

 _-Drifter._


	6. Abduction

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 6 Abduction - wherein Mamoru becomes a factor in this story_

* * *

 _Actual Saturday morning - apx 10:30 am.- inside Dr Chiba's office_

Dr Chiba waved goodbye to his little patient as the boy left with his parents. The boy looked on the verge of tears. Mamoru understood the feeling. He hated getting shots too. Just a moment then. Mamoru pulled out a red lollipop out of his lab coat and handed it to the child - his standard prescription after a vaccination. The kid was all smiles again.

Mamoru looked around his office. Life was good. He had his own private practice now. It was a small clinic, one waiting room, one office, and one storage room, but Mamoru was proud of it.

His favourite part was the big sign in front - Dr Chiba – Pediatrician.

Next patient please. Mamoru checked his agenda.

Well... this was interesting. Officer Aino Minako was penciled in at 10:30 am.

Minako entered his office in her uniform with a nervous looking Ami in tow.

"Good Afternoon Mamoru-san. I'm afraid I have some questions for you."

"Well, I figured that you're here on police business Minako. The uniform is never good news... but why is Ami here?"

Ami was across the room poking around the medical supplies and avoiding eye contact. Minako shrugged casually.

"She just wanted to come with I guess? Kind of like a little Stray Dog."

That broke the tension. Ami rose to the bait and gave a cheerful woof at that comment.

"You need me here and you know it. Besides, would I ever miss a chance to visit my Mamo-chan?"

"Shut it K-9."

Mamoru laughed as well.

"Well, Ami-chan, glad to see you haven't changed one bit...say...did you happen to catch the article on manipulating protein bonds and its potential applications in neuroregeneration? It was just posted on the New England Journal of Medicine website yesterday. It's fascinating. Right up your alley too. Amazing how quickly we can share new research these days..."

Mamoru batted his most innocent eyes at Ami.

Ami stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"Jerk...you know I'm trapped in meatspace for the next few months. You better summarize it for me."

"I can do better than that. I was going to give this to you at our poker night next week, but seeing as you're here now..."

Mamoru pulled a few sheets of paper out from his printer.

"Here you go Dr. Mizuno. One article, annotated by yours truly."

"Oooo! Thank you Dr Chiba. I do so love some light bedtime reading. Guess who I'll be thinking of tonight?."

Oiii...Match point: Mizuno. Mamoru was about to toss in a witty comeback when Minako cleared her throat loudly.

"Ok! Enough you two! Hate to interrupt the miracle bromance here, but you know, official police business!"

Mamoru turned to Minako apologetically.

"Oh! Right. Sorry. Sorry. What can I help you with Minako-chan?"

Ami answered instead.

"I'm sorry Mamoru-san. Long story short, I've just been hired to hack into your personal accounts at JMUH by persons unknown. We were hoping you might be able to shed some light as to why."

Mamoru's eyebrows leapt up.

"People are trying to steal my patient files?"

Minako shook her head.

"No, worse, people are trying to plant patient files on you. As in patient files that have been used to blackmail various CEOs and other fine upstanding members of society. Someone wants you to take the fall for this. Now can you think of any reason why you'd be targeted like this? I mean, I know you're innocent, but...I still have to investigate."

Mamoru addressed both Ami and Minako with his next statement. He was starting to get dizzy going back and forth between Ami and Minako both talking at him.

"I've been noticing some irregularities in our filing system. People were accessing files they had no reason to. Coincidentally, the Glico CEO was one of the examples I was looking at right around the time he was kidnapped, so I brought my suspicions to the attention of Tokyo PD. The police didn't seem to keen to investigate without more evidence and... I couldn't get more evidence without an investigation. Catch 22."

Minako got noticeably paler at that.

"Strange... this is the first time I'm hearing about this. I'm going to need to know which officer you spoke with. In fact, I flat out need to know everything you know. Do you have any physical evidence?"

"It was an officer Iwaki, with cybercrime division."

Mamoru pulled a notebook out of his desk and handed it to Minako.

"Here is everything I have. Keep an eye out for the name Dr. Fausuto on the access manifest. Some of the files he pulls don't match the times he was on duty. I thought that was odd."

Minako flipped through the notebook and then frowned. Mamoru wondered why.

"Oh bloody hell...Mamoru-san... I think you just became our star witness in a blackmail case involving the Yakuza then."

Mamoru's eyes bugged out. He knew had a certain "deer in the headlights" look about him.

"WHAT? HOW?"

Ami had been reading the notebook over Minako's shoulder the whole time and finally had something to say.

"...Mamoru-san. That letter. Did you send it anonymously?"

"No...I signed it as Dr. Chiba. I thought it would be more credible."

Minako cringed. Ami face faulted so hard she smacked her giant head into the back of Minako's shoulder.

"Ouch! Watch where you swing that thing! Your head is like a freaking bowling ball. Seriously, Mamoru-san that explains a lot. Good thing Lethal Weapon here was the one that was hired to set you up to take the fall."

Ami gave an embarrassed little wave from where she still had her head down on Minako's shoulder.

Mamoru still felt fairly stunned by the turn of events.

"Well...in that case...I assume I'm safe then?"

Minako nodded somewhat reassuringly.

"From Ami at least, yeah. Still, be careful. We are dealing with Yakuza here. They have proven willing to resort to violence and kidnapping in the past. I don't want to worry you unnecessarily Mamoru-san, but this is worse than I thought. If what you say is true, then that means there is someone on the police force that is working with the Yakuza. I have to go to Sakurada about this ASAP."

Ami picked up her head and nodded as well.

"Sounds logical to me. You had your suspicions to begin with. That's why you wanted an outsider on the case..."

"Yeah, and I kept hoping that my instincts were wrong...but hey, since when has hoping ever worked."

"Sorry Minako, this really is terrible. I know how much you must hate dealing with dirty cops."

Minako sighed.

"I'm going to head back to HQ now then. You're welcome to come with, but I think it's best if I talk to Sakurada alone."

"No, you go on ahead. I'm not going to be of much use to you with actual police business...besides, I've got a bad feeling about this. I think I'll just stick around and keep an eye on Mamoru here. It'd make me feel better if nothing else."

Mamoru looked back and forth between the two women before figuring that he really didn't have any say in the matter.

Ami grabbed a book and settled herself on a couch as Minako left the office. She was still there 3 hours later when Mamoru received the worst email of his life.

* * *

 _Saturday afternoon - apx 1pm- still inside Dr Chiba's office_

Ami puttered about the clinic aimlessly.

It had been about three hours of total boredom sitting around in Mamoru's waiting room. Even the patients were boring. 90% of the kids ha a cold and just wanted a day off school from the look of things. One kid caught her eye as possibly having scarlet fever...or maybe Izumi fever? Ami hoped for his sake that it wasn't Kawasaki disease, but she trusted Dr. Chiba to sort all that out.

Ami sighed and tried to turn off the part of her brain that automatically jumped to differential diagnosis procedures. Being in a medical clinic was just too much of a tease and there was nothing to distract her from getting melancholic about it...

It was a relief at first when Mamoru poked his head out of his office and called her in. Ami was about to say something snarky when she caught the terrified look on his face. She ran over in an instant.

Mamoru had an email open on his computer. He pointed at it silently. Ami read the contents.

" _Dr Chiba. We understand you have been investigating our activities. This stops today. We have your fiance. Come to us by 4pm today if you want her to live. Bring us everything you know. Leave nothing behind. Come alone. No police. We are waiting."_

A map was attached to the email, but Ami paid it no mind yet.

Also attached was a photograph of Usagi being held at gunpoint.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Oh no! Usagi! Things just got serious. Well..as serious as they are ever going to get in this story at any rate._

 _Mamoru and Ami's miracle bromance. Not sure where I first heard that term, but the more I think about it, the more it works. There's alot of story potential in there...hmm..._

 _Oh! and Happy 100,000 words published on FFnet to me. Factoring out the all the author notes, I think the 100,000th word is somewhere in this chapter. Yay!  
How appropriate that it comes in a chapter that is borderline self-parody.  
Seriously, it's not a Drifter story until the plot goes out the window the second someone gets kidnapped.  
*koff* *koff*_

 _Cheers,_  
 _-Drifter.  
_

 _P.S. Dear readers (Valkyrie Celes, I am looking at you :D *warm fuzzy feeling*) who are following this story live, bad news (or is it good news?). 3 chapters left in this story... but we are a bit delayed because I accidentally deleted the last chapter. Now it has to be re-written. This will cause a delay in the post rate of this story. I hope to resume by the end of the week. Just a heads up on that. I don't mean to leave things on a cliffhanger...sort of._

 _P.P.S. tiffanywillow - You are my inspiration. Ami's got a giant head. You have a giant head. Mwah. Love you._


	7. Unexpected Change

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 7: Unexpected Change - wherein I bet that at least some of you thought this chapter would be titled "Invasion"...oh, and someone undergoes some unexpected changes._

* * *

 _Saturday afternoon: apx 1:30 pm – at Hikawa Jinga_

Usagi was in danger. Nothing else mattered. The Senshi assembled at Rei's temple to deal with the new threat.

Voices were raised in argument over how to best handle the situation. Ami tried to tune it out. She was busy working out a plan.

"Look! Usagi's in trouble! I'm not leaving her alone in there with a bunch of Yakuza. I don't see why we aren't transformed and going in to get her right fucking now. "

Even so she was trying not to pay attention, Mako's raised voice caught Ami's attention. Minako's response was just as heated.

"No! What if they panic and shoot her in the cross fire, or they run away and hide her somewhere we can't find or I don't know, worse! Any number of a million things could happen. The Sailor Senshi have never interfered in the human world. We can't start now."

Mamoru's distinctive tenor was obvious, as was his desperation.

"Let me go then. Once they have what they want, they will let her go"

"No, we don't know that Mamoru-san. We can't risk you. You are the only one who can testify against them if necessary.

"This isn't about your case anymore Minako."

"I know that! I'm just trying to get Usagi out safely, and get the big yakuza target off your back Mamoru. This situation is an epic clusterfuck."

"Yeah, and Usagi would never forgive us if anything happened to you."

"I'm supposed to protect her!"

Ami filtered through everything she'd just heard. Keywords jumped out at her.

Senshi, human, risk, Mamoru, Usagi, protect...clusterfuck.

She had an idea. It was so stupid that it just might work. Mako would probably be pissed, but Minako should go for it. In fact, there was precedent. Minako was her inspiration after all.

"Everyone..."

None of the other stressed out Senshi heard Ami over the argument.

"EVERYONE! JUST SHUT UP A MOMENT!"

Eyes turned to stare, but Ami was past the point where she would blush at the sudden attention. She had a job to take care of.

"I have an idea. Minako...Do you still have the Disguise Pen?"

Minako handed it to Ami with a puzzled look. Ami all but snatched the little pink pen from her hands.

"Here's the plan. I go in described as Mamoru. Get Usagi, then figure it out from there. The rest of you, cover the exits. Minako, as soon as we're clear, get that place swarming with police."

"Ami! That's crazy! You can't run into what is obviously a trap and rescue Usagi alone! Let me do it!"

"Don't argue Minako! I'm the best suited for this and you know it. Three reasons. First, this whole thing is my case too. Second I do the best Mamoru impersonation here and third: Shabon Spray. I have actual non-lethal attacks if it comes down to it. Do we have any better ideas? Without knowing who's with Usagi, or what they are capable of, this is the right thing to do. We need to go in light and scout this out. You were right earlier. They are humans, not youma. We have to at least _try_ to settle this without crossing that line. I promise, I won't let anything happen to Usagi. That's my top priority. Any sign of danger to her, and I will transform into Sailor Mercury and tear the place apart myself... Besides, if I fail, I know I have the rest of you backing me up."

Mako and Rei looked like they might protest, but Minako nodded slowly.

"I don't like this, but yeah...you raise some good points. This could work. Fine, we'll do it your way. Pull up a satellite image of the area?"

Ami did as requested on the Mercury Computer and laid out her thoughts on the situation.

"Here it is. Warehouse in an isolated part of town. I'm thinking Mars in that cluster of trees to the right, Jupiter on that tall building around the back...and Haruka and Michiru on standby a few blocks away?"

Minako narrowed her eyes as she considered the information Ami just provided.

"No. Mars is a left handed shot. Switch her with Jupiter. I want Jupiter on the front entrance. Its got the best access routes and thus, should be the best escape route."

Rei and Mako nodded in acceptance. Minako turned to address everyone in the room at once.

"This is strictly human crime against human victims right now. Not senshi business. We are going to try to do this with as little senshi interference as possible...Haruka, Michiru, stay close with Mamoru for now. If you haven't heard from us in one hour, I want you two to come in hot. Uranus and Neptune hot. Understood?"

Michiru nodded and Haruka cracked her knuckles. They seemed happy to support the Inner Senshi in this rescue mission. Usagi obviously meant the world to them too.

Everyone was on board more or less. Time for step one.

Ami yelled out the transformation phrase before she lost her nerve.

"Disguise Power! Turn me into Dr Chiba Mamoru!"

Pink light filled the room. Ami felt herself somehow growing taller. She stumbled the second the transformation ended.

"Ow! Goddamit Mamoru! How do you walk with these?"

This crazy plan was off to a awkward start. Ami shook her new limbs, trying to adapt to the different lengths and mechanics.

"Well, how do I look?"

Ami's voice cracked like a teenager's as it dropped an octave. Undergoing puberty in about a minute was the strangest feeling ever.

The surrounding senshi seemed stunned at best. Michiru had the presence of mind fish around her purse and pull out a small mirror. She handed it to Ami silently - how fortunate that she had a non-magical mirror on her today. Ami was curious to see if she looked as different as she felt.

Ami looked at her new reflection. The disguise pen did what it could...the results were a mixed bag at best.

"Mamoru" had short blue hair, baby smooth cheeks, big blue eyes behind Ami's now unnecessary wire frame glasses, and finally, surprisingly small delicate hands.

Minako was the first to say what everyone was thinking.

"Umm...Fauxmoru, are you sure you're up for this?"

Ami cleared her throat and tried speaking again. Her voice came out in a stable, if slightly higher pitched, version Mamoru's voice.

"I'm up for this Minako! This is exactly like that cosplay job I had at the bishonen convention a few months ago."

"That's not reassuring. What happened there was unspeakable."

"And none of it was my fault. It all worked out in the end didn't it? Besides, we've been in worse hot water than this! I'm good. I'm Hard Boiled! I Die Hard! Don't think I haven't been paying attention to your lame-ass nicknames all week Minako. Trust me. I got this."

Ami rolled her shoulders and winked at her worried friends. Sure, she was nervous, but she didn't show it.

Minako grinned back at her confidence. While everyone else was - justifiably - looking at her like she'd lost her damn mind, Ami knew that her partner would understand.

"Wait a second. We've missed something!"

Minako leaned over and unlocked the ankle monitor that was still attached around Ami's leg.

"Training Day's over. You're on Kindergarten Cop."

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Short chapter, but contains my favourite read-between-the-lines joke of this entire story._


	8. The Name of the Rose

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 8: The Name of the Rose - wherein Amamoru? Amoru? oh whatever...AMI has a final showdown with a 'criminal mastermind'._

* * *

 _Saturday afternoon: apx 2:30 pm – outside a warehouse_

Ami drove Mamoru's car up to the warehouse Usagi was being held.

A man was waiting outside. Ami could just make out the outline of a gun in his pants. He was clearly Yakuza based on the tattoos.

He led her inside, there was another one of the Yakuza goons Ami recognized from the tape of the Glico kidnapping. There was also a man she'd never seen before. Ami figured he must be the ringleader of this merry band of criminals. She noted with some concern that he also had a gun.

3 men with 3 guns stood between her and Usagi - wherever she was.

She looked around the room quickly, hoping to work out a plan fast.

Aside from the men, the warehouse was deserted. They were alone. There wasn't much furniture or boxes being stored here either. There was only a desk in the middle of the room...and on the desk there was a note, some pills, and a bottle of tequila.

That did not paint a pretty picture.

Ami looked up and saw the exposed fire suppression system. Ideas started to form in her head as she called out to the man she pegged as the leader.

"I'm here. Where is my fiance? Let her go."

The man laughed out loud for no good reason.

"Dr Chiba, I presume? Funny. I thought you'd be taller. You came alone?"

"Of course I did. I've done everything you asked. Now where is Usagi?"

The man snapped at one of the Yakuza enforcers and ordered him to 'bring out the hostage'. Ami noted that she was right in her assessment that he was the "ciminal mastermind" here.

One of the Yakuza goons obediently disappeared into a side room. He returned dragging a struggling Usagi by the arm.

"See? She's here. Perfectly safe. Now for your end of our arrangement?"

Ami ignored the man and called out to Usagi instead.

"Usagi! It's ok. I'm here. Did they hurt you?"

Usagi looked at Ami in confusion and shook her head to indicate she was unharmed. Ami smiled back reassuringly before Usagi could say anything else that might blow her cover. Usagi smiled back in understanding despite of how scared she must be.

"Ok you two. Enough of that! Where's all the evidence you've gathered on us?"

Ami continued the Mamoru act and tossed the notebook she was carrying to the man with the gun.

"This is what you wanted. That's everything I know. Now let her go."

"Soon...soon. We need one more thing from you Dr. Chiba."

"Nothing until you let Usagi go."

The man continued like he hadn't heard.

"I need you to sign a note for me. Go on, it's on the desk over there. Take a look."

Ami glanced at the note briefly, not wanting to take her eyes off of the man threatening Usagi. It was a short note - she got the gist of it easily enough.

The pieces fell into place. This was not going to end well.

Ami needed to confirm her suspicions. She cried out in a mixture of real and feigned outrage. Hopefully, the man with the gun was also the man with the plan.

"A suicide note?! What the hell is this about!?"

"You want to know hmm? I suppose that's fair..."

Ami smirked a little on the inside. She knew he would answer the question if he could - and with a long winded speech to boot. For some reason, every single villain she'd ever met insisted on spelling out their plans like that. There was really was something about the need to brag to a 'defeated' opponent.

Ami worked on potential exit strategies as she 'listened' to the 'criminal mastermind'. The most important thing right now was to get to Usagi.

"...We had a perfect scheme going, and then you come to the police with your suspicions. We can't cover it up any longer. Terrible choice really. You forced our hand. You had to be dealt with and I thought...hey, this actually works out! Let's kill two birds with one stone. Let's plant the evidence on you...that way, everyone will understand why you committed suicide. Such a tragedy."

The man pointed the gun straight at Usagi.

"Basically, what I am saying is, sign that note, then take those all pills we left you on the table...or we shoot your fiance right now."

Ami's eyes widened. That crossed a line. They were planning to kill Mamoru anyways? This looked like a job for Sailor Mercury then.

"Alright! Alright. Just don't hurt her. Let her go afterwards. Usagi will keep quiet. Right Usagi? Trust me. Just do as I say. Everything will be ok."

The last words were directed at Usagi. Ami hoped she wasn't lying through her teeth just now...this situation was escalating rapidly.

"Have a few pills as a sign of good faith, and you got yourself a deal. Oh! I almost forgot. Because I'm such a nice guy, I left you a bottle of tequila to wash it all down with. Go on"

Ami poured out the pill bottle and tried to identify what they were. The bottle was full of an assortment of painkillers and sleeping pills – a mixture that just screamed "suicide". Ami apprehensively picked out the weakest drug she recognized. She swallowed it quickly and downed a swig of the tequila for good measure. 'Co-operating' could go a long way right now.

That kidnapping bastard thought he was Mr. Nice Guy eh? Maybe she could play into that.

"Just what are these pills anyways?"

"I'm not sure. Just a cocktail of some prescription drugs I got from a doctor friend of mine. You'd know better than I would. I was just told it would work, and that it wouldn't hurt much. So you know. My gift to you."

Ami glared back with open hostility.

"Thank you, you bastard. If you are such a nice guy, then at least let me say goodbye to my fiance first."

"Oh sure, why the heck not. You've been good so far. Go on, you crazy lovebirds."

He waved for his minion to take Usagi over to 'Mamoru' for a goodbye kiss. Ami celebrated internally.

Perfect. The biggest problem just solved itself. This was the opportunity she needed.

Ami took Usagi into her arms as soon as she was close and kissed her 'passionately'. All as expected of a soon to be dying man of course...

Using the kiss as cover, Ami managed to whisper into Usagi's ear.

"Usagi, it's Ami. Minako and the others are outside, you're ok. Don't ask. Just get ready to run."

Usagi nodded slightly, resting her head on Ami's chest in a gesture of total trust.

Ami pretended to stroke Usagi's hair lovingly. In reality, she was hiding her hand in Usagi's hair as she channeled a wisp of power. In her current body, it didn't flow as it normally it. It _grew_ instead.

A blue rose appeared.

There was no time to question the oddity of the situation. Ami let Mamoru's muscle memory take over. She flung the rose at the nearest gangster – the one that walked Usagi over.

It worked. The rose cut across his hand, forcing him to drop his gun with a cry of pain.

Time to go all in.

"Mercury Crystal Power!"

Ami tackled Usagi to the ground as she let the power of Mercury loose. The gangsters looked away form the sudden flash of blue light in shock.

"SHABON SPRAY!"

Sailor Mercury pulled Usagi up and took off running before the gangsters behind her could get their bearings in the dense fog.

The situation was still dangerous. One of the idiots was firing blindly into the fog. Mercury forced Usagi out in front of her and shielded her the best she could. A flash of pain across her shoulder caused her to stumble once, but it didn't slow her down.

They were almost at the door. Mercury shoved Usagi out first into the surprised arms of Jupiter. Jupiter reacted on instinct and whisked her away to safety. Mission accomplished.

One more order of business. Mercury pulled another rose out of nowhere and threw it up at the fire suppression system. It exploded in a shower of chemical foam.

There. Plausible deniability. Now she could leave.

The gangsters were still busy trying to figure out what had just happened inside. One tried to run out the back door, but a sudden gout of flame forced him back inside. That had to be Mars. Mercury grinned. This was a good day's work for everyone.

Outside the warehouse, Mercury spotted an un-transformed Minako on the at the end of the driveway. She was on the phone, presumably calling for police backup as planned. The criminal justice system was going to have a field day with this.

Ami dropped her transformation as she ran over to brief her partner on everything that had just happened.

That was the idea anyways.

As soon as she dropped her transformation, Ami was hit by a wave of nausea. She stopped in mid-step, stunned by her sudden weakness.

Ami looked down. Her arm felt wet for some reason. Kind of numb too...

Oh...blood. That's funny... where did that come from?

The last thing Ami saw was Minako running towards her as the world faded to black.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _OMG! AMI-CHAN! Yeah...because the other indicator that you are reading a Drifter story is that Ami gets hurt and/or passes out at some point (I just counted, it happens in about 8 out of 12 stories in which Ami appears as a character... Sorry Ami...looks like I'll have to write her some fluff later to make up for all this...why yes! This is a shameless plug for one of my future projects! Thank you for noticing!)_

 _But hey...at least Ami got to kiss Usagi in this chapter right? That's kind of cool. Also, throwing roses like a badass. That's how its done. If only there were a security camera in the room for her to know out...I am still totally jazzed over that episode of SM Crystal a few weeks ago._

 _Balambfish: I wanted this on your public record - calling the pun police on a police story with too many puns? You have the right to remain silent...and yeah. Hard Boiled was an awesome movie. The original draft had Ami drinking vodka, after your review, I decided it had to be tequila...because I really needed yet another reference to a police movie shoved into this story._

 _Valkyrie Celes: Amamoru? Amoru? I have no idea what to call the Ami/Mamoru either. I had leaned towards "Amo-chan" for a bit...but then it sounded too cute and Spanish. Let the debate rage on._


	9. Epilogue

**Blue Fuku, White Collar**

 _Ch 9: Epilogue - wherein Minako finally gets a little payback, Ami gets some good news, and I shamelessly plug my next story_

* * *

 _Saturday night: apx 10 pm – inside Minako's apartment_

"Ami-chan, you melodramatic dipshit. You didn't have to faint like that. Now stop moving. You're not helping."

Minako glared at her uncooperative patient. Ami was bouncing up and down on the couch. She kept turning her head to look at the wound on her shoulder... the tiny little flesh wound that Minako was currently trying to disinfect.

"Eh? Where's the sympathy? I just got shot here."

"No you didn't. That's barely a graze. The hospital just gave you a pack of bandages and sent you home. You've been through worse. "

"Yes, tt's a graze. A graze with a bullet. Hence: shot."

Minako rolled her eyes, then engulfed Ami in a giant bear hug.

"Baka. You scared the crap out of me."

Ami leaned into the hug.

"Thanks Minako. Sorry things got out of hand there. I did the best I could."

The two friends shared a moment together. Minako gave Ami's hair a quick ruffle.

"You did good. Usagi is safe and sound, everyone else is ok, and I got to make 4 big arrests today. 2 Yakuza goons, a crooked doctor at Juuban Medical university Hospital, and that bastard Iwaki from cybercrime division. Nothing worse than a crooked cop, but we got him!"

"Nice! A win for the good guys ne?"

"Yup. Now hold still. This is going to sting a little."

Minako dabbed the antiseptic onto Ami's shoulder. Ami hissed at the burning sensation and then visibly relaxed into the couch. Minako raised an eyebrow.

"Ami-chan, you are the worse kind of adrenaline junkie, you know that?"

"Shut up. It feels nice. So what happened anyways? I don't actually remember much after the warehouse."

"Really? Nothing at all?

Ami shook her head.

"That guy...the crooked cop guy I assume... He made me take a sleeping pill. I never react well to them. I get kind of delirious. Then stupid things happen."

Minako nodded in understanding.

"Ooooh. That explains a lot. You're a freaking riot when you are out of it. Call me next time you're sick. I'm coming over with a bag of popcorn. It's hilarious. You really don't remember _anything?_ "

Ami scrunched up her face as tried to think back on recent events. Minako did her level best not to laugh out loud.

"Well...lets see...Jupiter grabbed Usagi. I shot out the fire suppression system...then I got the hell out...after that it's all a bit fuzzy. I know I was at the hospital...did something happen there? I feel like I'm forgetting something really important...something...oh unholy crap! The hospital's CEO! What the hell was he doing there?"

Minako picked up the story where Ami came to a blank. This was going to be good.

"He came to thank us of course. Between you and me, we just saved his ass. He had a doctor on staff that was helping the Yakuza blackmail people. It was Dr. Fausuto just as Mamoru suspected by the way."

Ami scowled.

"That's awful. A doctor that abuses the privilege for personal gain...what a waste. I'm glad you caught him. Hope he rots in jail"

"Hey, you helped too. In fact, that's kind of a critical part of the story. Guess what happened next?"

Ami started to look a little panicky.

"Something happened next? Out with it Minako! You look like the cat that ate the canary."

Minako was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Poor Ami really couldn't remember. It was cute how hard she was trying though.

"Well, we got to talking. JMUH-san, or whatever his actual name is, found out you were a licensed medical doctor and that still needed to do a residency. Then he found out that you were Mizuno Ami. That's when he practically started drooling. Turns out he has a daughter our age and he remembers your name from the top of every national exam list ever from back in the day. I can't believe you are actually more famous than I am. That's just wrong. Hey! Speaking of things that are just wrong, why am I hearing from Usagi that you're a damn good kisser? What's that about?"

Ami shot her the dirtiest look.

"I had to get close to her somehow! I was deep undercover! Wait... Usagi said I was a good kisser? That's kind of nice feedback...OI! Stop distracting me! Minako! Get to the point!"

Minako grinned a Cheshire grin. While it was fun to let Ami stew like this, Minako decided the joke had gone on long enough. Ami deserved to hear the truth.

"Let's see...what happened next was that JMUH-san starting asking about you. Mamoru gave you a positively _glowing_ character review. It was so sweet it was sickening. I won't repeat it here for the sake of your already over-inflated ego. Anyways, after that, JMUH-san offered you a job. A residency offer, right then and there. "

Ami went so still that it seemed like she hadn't heard the good news. Minako was about to repeat herself when Ami whispered out her reaction.

"Really? That's isn't a joke is it? This can't be a joke."

Minako shook her head.

"No joke. I swear. Juuban Medical University Hostpial just offered you a position."

Ami's eyes lit up.

"I said yes right? Please tell me I said yes. Please tell me I didn't make a total ass out of myself. Why do I feel like I made a total ass of myself?"

Minako nodded with a chuckle.

"Because you did make an ass out of yourself... You went on a long rant about how it was your duty to serve the public trust, uphold the law and protect the innolent. Yeah. You actually said 'innolent'. No idea what the heck that's about. Anyways, the hospital CEO was so disappointed at first..."

Ami looked so severely traumatized that Minako had to stop and give her a pat on the back.

"...Relax Ami-chan... this story has a happy ending. We were all confused as heck until I realized you were quoting Robocop. I guess this past week of being my partner really sunk into your subconscious ne? Anyways... that's when we all realized how loopy you were from the bloodloss and the drugs. After that, the CEO said you could meet with him in a few days when you've had some rest. Mamoru and I assured him that you'd definitely say yes. I hope that was ok Ami-chan?"

Ami nodded vigorously.

"Yes! All the yes I can't say yes enough times. Am I really going to be a doctor again? Is this really happening? Wait. What about the legal end of things? I'm still a convicted criminal. Did anyone bring that up?"

"Yeah. I got you covered. I had a chat with JMUH-san about it already. Well...actually Sailor V did. I swung by his office in full superhero regalia afterwards and explained the situation. You also got another glowing character reference by the way. I think you deserve another chance too. After your probation ends in 9 months, and you are free to do whatever the hell you want with your life. I think you want to be a doctor is right?"

"YES! Minako! You are the best! Thank you! Oh my gosh...I have so much studying to do now! WHOO!"

Ami threw herself at Minako with a celebratory whoop. Minako had never seen anyone this excited about the prospect of _more_ _studying_. ...but that was Ami in a nutshell.

"Oh! I almost forgot. There's more good news. Glico-san...remember him? The original victim in this whole mess? Anyways, he's agreed to testify too, which means we can build the case without Mamoru or 'Mamoru'. Anyways...that's probably for the best, in light of all the weirdness."

"What wierdness? I thought I covered all the angles? Usagi ran out when the sprinkler system malfunctioned. Coincidentally, we were there investigating a lead or something. I assumed that's the official story you would have come up with."

"Yeah it is. I figured it out from what Usagi told me...just one problem thought. We've got three people in custody all swearing up and down that Chiba Mamoru is Sailor Mercury. Good thing that's completely unbelievable ne?"

Ami's eyes widened as she realized what must have happened, then she burst into laughter.

"Oh...my...gods...I hadn't...holy crap! I forgot! I was still disguised as Mamoru when I transformed! What does he look like in a Sailor Fuku? Seriously? Was it like some kind of Sailor Earth? Did anyone get a picture? I can't believe that actually happened! Mamoru the Magical Girl...that's precious!"

Minako was laughing so hard that tears were streaming out of her eyes.

"Well, you know what they say! The truth is stranger than fiction!"

* * *

 _A.N._

 _"Ami-chan, you melodramatic dipshit"...hahahah, yeah. I say that exact phrase alot to myself as I write._

 _Minor continuity note: ...and now we are caught up to the epilogue chapter of Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux which takes place a few weeks before Ami starts her residency._

 _In conclusion, Ami's going to be a doctor again! Yay for her! The adventure continues in a few weeks in my next story "Ami and Makoto: 5 Years and a Day" - a slice of life romance series obviously starring Ami and Makoto._

 _Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this story!_

 _Cheers,_

 _-Drifter._


End file.
